amerijuanicans:

ringleaderman:

mymannemcee:

junglejustine:

dearcoketalk:

Is it ever acceptable to use the phrase “you’re too big” or is it just a shitty excuse for a job poorly done? I consider myself to be at least halfway sexually adept but I’m no porn star. How can I still maximize his pleasure without getting my throat fucked raw multiple times a week?

Once upon a time, a blow job was a rare and special gift reserved for birthdays and anniversaries, and if on such a momentous occasion you were capable of suppressing your gag reflex to swallow his cock for even the briefest of seconds, he would crown you a deep-throat queen and throw diamonds at your feet.

Those days are gone forever. I blame the internet.

Our men have been raised on a steady diet of cheap and readily available gonzo porn with an ever hardening core. It’s not enough to start out with an oral sex scene anymore. Now every run-of-the-mill porn starlet has in her repertoire the ability to unhinge her jaw for a throat fucking so violent she ends up shooting vomit out of her nose.

Expectations have been raised. Standards have been lowered. Having one’s face aggressively cock pounded for twenty asphyxiating minutes is now just an average blow job.

I respect that you want to maximize his pleasure, but perhaps it’s time to change the game.

I suggest you move to a wet two-handed technique where you work the shaft like a traditional lubricated hand job. You only keep the head of his cock in your mouth, which allows you easier breathing and much better use of your tongue.

The trick here is plenty of lube (and/or spit) on your palms so that your hands become an extension of your mouth. As with all good blowjob advice, don’t forget to tickle his balls.

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddddddddd. </typical male reblog of the day>

i approach the water’s edge

and cast my melody out

the sound is lost in the waves.

the sea doesn’t hear

i approach the cliff’s edge

and cast my melody out

the sound is lost in all that open air

the mountain stands unchanged

i approach the galaxy’s edge

and cast my melody into the void

the sound is lost before it escapes my lungs

do we hear the song our own cells sing?

i sing to you.

don’t you see?

kahtzee:

(via fuckyeahhappy)

:/

do it.

iamnotnickbooth:

(via staypretty)

at least to me….

kahtzee:

-kiara-:

newfilosofee:

bunnymitford:

(via alyeska)

<3 c:

but doesn’t hear the notes.

she has gone deaf.

all texts deleted unread.

she’s not even listening.

and i’m screaming.